My school Life aged 10 plus

My school life

I started at a school called Stevensons junior school which was only a good few minutes walk from the house. The school itself was very typical of most and the atmosphere there was easy going. The first teacher I had was called Mr Maxwell who was the most anoying american fella one would encounter especially because of his musical enthusism and how he would sit down and play all old songs on his guitar, songs like love potion number 9 and some song I have heard from Elton John. I must say though it was exciting at first thinking I had some eccentric american teacher but this particular one was as cheesy as hell and I actually found out that he his now the head teacher of the school and he as infact made it like his own little musical world now with posters of guitars ect.

While at this school I didn't have a clue as to what to learn and my writing was apauling. I seemed to have no sense as to what school was for what it meant. When I look back it was as if I was just floating on a cloud of gas which was absent of purpose or meaning. I know one thing and that was that I would day dream mostly all of the time and glance at gals enchanted by there beauty. I went through obsessive phases about them in turn and while the other lads were running about like monkeys I was dreaming and imagining alternative places. I was locked in a different place and I could literally alter my surroundings for example I would imagine the playground that I was on was a platform elivated in the sky with an endless amount of things I could morph and create. I would on occasions talk to the other kids but the conversations about who had the most expensive brand of footware was such an ugly thought that would harris me especially not being so well off. Fights were something that happened on occasions and they just seemed to come out of nowhere and I do remember being quick tempered to get into a fight especially to try and look good in front of the opposite sex as if I was a stag yet I only did it to try and win an achknowledgment of the gals.

The second teacher I had while there was a very polished and refined person whom seemed to be seen as the well educated london bowler hat type. I liked him but also feared him for he was very good at disciplining the room. I did used to be extremely anxious about trying to do my best and behave well in his presence yet I felt that it stopped me from enjoying the learning process and I spent most of my time trying to conform to the rules and standards he presented us with. I remember trying to think about becoming better at spelling and reading but I always felt defeated by my lack of interest in those academic basic skills and how I learnt to later develop those skills I will never know.
It is still a mystery to this day because I do not think at all it was through the schools teachings that I learnt such basic skills but that of my own will to survive. I use the word survive because that was exactly how it felt for me and I felt very alien towards the ways of the world around me with the skills needed to function and communicate. I did enjoy how the teacher introduced us to the artist known as beryal cook whom I found to be interesting in how she illustrated large people and how colourful her work was

There was an occasion that I can remember quite vividly and it was not a nice event and I can not laugh about it even now. I still ponder over it today and it made me feel worthless to the very depths of my soul sadley and I may be being oversensitive I know. I remember getting called an egg head on many occasions and it seemed to be aimed at my physical apparence and not due to the fact that would be seen as clever as I was certainly not very knowledable. I used to wonder about that because I felt that most humans had egg oval shaped heads. I guess my head was very defined and a really good oval shape. One day in the playground a small group of kids decided to yell out egg head at me possibly because I was not liked by them even though I was hanging around in there space. Sadley others in the area decided to join in until the whole playground joined in on the abuse and even the dinner ladies and playground supervisors were smirking and laughing about what was happening. I felt like I was in hell when that happened and I felt very unloved and not at all liked by people. I didn't see anything wrong with myself and thought of humans as dark evil beings and I even would doubt humanity and the behaviour of the human species as a whole hoping that my mother would not have joined in on the act. Afterwards I believed that the whole event was justified and that I must be some kind of freaky bastard and an abomination to people in general. This stayed with me through most of my life and I still see it vividly like with most things in my past.

Again I was very alone at this time in my life and I actually resented others around realizing that I prefered my own company. This did confuse and frighten others around me I can now tell that.