I was always a home bird and the idea of going on a trip away from the comfort of my family was a very frightening idea yet I loved the idea of adventure and traveling. Anyway I went to stay on a large camp site with others at the school and I actually ended up enjoying this trip which I found to be a great way of learning new things. The trip was to Waymouth and we got to visit many places such as Portsmouth to look at the boats, a local air base, a nature reserve and an egyption museum which I loved. I was always interested in egyption history mainly due to the way they created the most beautiful and powerful cultural artifacts that were very sophisitcated and advanced in a way which I feel puts modern creations to shame. For some strange reason once detached from the comforts of home I tended to wander out with a self confidence I didn't ever expect to have and I enjoyed this lonelyness which I felt so much. The other kids around me all seemed to need each other so much yet I really enjoyed talking and interacting with my inner voice which I would always trust which was a thing that would speak to me giving me a secret self confidence. I have always felt such power radiating from my minds voice with a kind a wisdom that guides me. I remember going along with the kids that would detach from the rules and go out and venture alone away from the camp and teachers. I remember going for walks to the sea alone lacking a fear and feeling more free from the camp that seemed to contain us all. This was my first ever real time away from home and it was exhausting and scary yet a great glimpse into independance.
Back at school in them days I don't feel that I had any identity and was lost and confused. The main reason was that I felt pushed into something beyond my control and there never seemed to be any reason for what I was developing towards. There were no directions really and the word career or job wouldn't make sense. The biggest dillusion for me was beliving that I would be a child forever and accepting a change into a more responsible life did not make any logical sense.
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